a therapeutic chain of events

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 14:47:29 GMT

change of plans, i'm leaving today around 10.
so like in 20 minutes lol.
i'll be back christmas day some time in the evening.
& i can definitely come to your party, cat :)
happy holidays, guys ♥

i'm kindof rushing out the door so yea.

byeee, i love you all ^.^

like that guyyy from that banddd.

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 03:30:44 GMT

hahahahah oh jeeze.
that was fun.
i mean i like it, i might end up taking a little more off. i promise when i actually style it, it will look more girly lol.
i'll take a better picture tomarrow.

apocalypse plz.
who's excited lolz.

heyyy i lost my hot cocoa.
that's not exactly good.
how do you lose.. ffff e-e

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 23:11:11 GMT

today i did some holiday shopping.
which i won't talk about :o
& i got some stuff for my dad too.

my mummy also got me this cd from hot topic which i'm uploading.
&lo, you have to borrow it cause i think you'd like it, i'll bring it tomarrow :)
it's this 2-disc compliation for a series i think with bands likeee norma jean, it dies today, funeral for a friend, armor for sleep, scary kids scaring kids, murder by death, fear before the march of flames, etc. etc. there's tons more, that's just off the top of my head.
they also had it dies today's the caitiff choir but i'll probably get it some other time but now i know where to find it lol. i can't wait for their new one to come out. like january 10th.

she also got this shirt, but it was too small for her so she gave it to me ahah.

i can't belive christmas is so close.

kindof a mess lol.

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 18:47:36 GMT

so about the secret santa thing.
ohjeeze.
okay we lost some slips, but not a problem.

leslee, cat, morgan, lauren, becca, lucy.

k sooo as far as i know, leslee, cat, and lucy haven't drawn and the rest of us have.

uhm we can make more slips, i just need to know who hasn't been drawn yet, so if you have drawn, leave an anonymous comment here with the name of the person you got.

so i should get 3 anonymous comments and we can make slips for the rest of the kids who haven't been drawn yet.

and give you guys who haven't drawn slips on uh.. the next time we see each other i guess lol.

or if you don't feel like participating, then that's cool, just let me know and we can adjust.

we probably should've done this friday @_@

idk lol.

oh.

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 05:51:32 GMT

i guess i should actually update. maybe.
uh this week has been long. like times 9834923402 to the twenty seventh power.
then again two of those days (starting tuesday) lasted from 5:30 am to 5:30 pm school wise due to driving then plus a few more hours school work time. then i crashed and did the same thing again the next day.
third day for driving (thursday) was canceled due to freezing rain, etc. that day this guy in my chemistry class and i talked books and he walked with me half way to orchestra until he remembered he had to go to english. also that day, due to wintery weather, mo and i hung out at her place, had hot cocoa and watched love actually. hahah, it's like a tradition when we have no work and it's raining or some variation of such.
and i remember nothing of monday.
today i practically peed myself when the last bell rang, and rushed out the door with becca.
i'm so glad this week is over.

uh i just got norma jean's o' god, the aftermath. it's pretty good. i think i might like bless the martyr & kiss the child a bit better but you know, whatev.
i really need to update my cd collection list.

i am completely in love with nickel creek right now.
god, you love my ridiculously spastic music taste.
anyway, i got through like 2/3ishmaybemore albums on becca's ipod today during interior design.
amazing.

i need one of those nights where i just bundle up and listen to my ipod.
tonight feels like a winner.

hahah, am i boring you?
probably.
my aim keeps screwing up, it's ipod time.

helena, don't walk away
before you give me back my heart
if it were mine, it would be yours to take
i'm sorry i've let down my guard, oh helena

headdeskheaddeskheaddesk.

Fri, 16 Dec 2005 22:46:05 GMT

oh it's what you do to me.

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 00:10:45 GMT

learning "hey there delilah" on acoustic.
randomly started crying while doing so earlier. it's a sweet song, but i'm not sure it had anything to do with that. my mind is never on whatever i'm doing at the moment, and i happened to realise how hard i've fallen this time and i'm not quite sure how to feel about this at all.
hahah god i wish i had something interesting to tell you.

oh last night i had a dream that i swallowed a staple.
yea i don't know how that happens either.

cue heavy sigh and weak shrug plz.

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 01:01:50 GMT

this is halarious.
it's like that 'i should just ..quit' feeling.
but what am i quitting again?
nothing.
hahah, there's not even anything to quit!
i just don't know where i go from here.
i don't know how i go.
or if i even should go.
or if i even can go.
or what 'here' even is.
because 'here' is like this nonexistent..thing.
i don't really like thinking about it.

yep, it's definitely that time of year.

..the more i look at the word 'quit' it looks really weird.
but i'm sure i spelled it right.

so anyway.

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 02:49:12 GMT

we went to the mountains to get a tree.
what the hell, i don't know either.
i brought frankie of course.
it was freezing. ass. cold. and there was ice. and it was rly cold..
i had like 5 cups of coffee today and still managed to fall asleep on the way home.
wow i have to pee like mad.

ps. i wouldn't wear this.

there were like 9384934589034795734 other ones that i liked a lot better than that one -shrugs-

edit. hahah wait did you guys hear that gerard was in nickolodeon magazine?
.......
..
.
something abouttt, "what would you do if you got a present you didn't like?" & "complain until i get a better one." hahahah. oh, g ♥

i don't want a lot for christmas

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 23:09:18 GMT

there is just one thing i need..
..cold weather.

e-e

..actually, i could do for some cold weather. and NOT rainy. i love the rain, but not when i need my hair to not be frizzy and/or curly. snow would be okay though ^.^

so yea. new myspace picture ^& name.
now everytime i sign in it's all, "hello, coked-up pansy!" (babyshambles!)

today i took my usual way to chemistry just to make sure i got the whole lunch thing right and i guess he had the same idea lol. he was like 5 feet infront of me. he most definitely got caught in the rain today too. his hair was rly flippy at the ends and i was lyk lollmfaorotflDIES. so i went the same way -not followed :eyeroll:- down the staircase, and then i met up with becca outside. whee.

i rly don't like having 4 lunches. b days are too quiet and a days have lost whatever meaning they had.

i need a life.

lo might be my driving buddy -crossesfingers-
3 b days next week &
apparently lots of labs.
chem test soon. not that i like tests ew.. either next class or next week. i wasn't paying attention :(
i was writing something down actually.

let's talk about something else.

.
you love my shitty camera :)

battle royale.
they need to sell that movie in the us.
i got the soundtrack today.
SO FUCKING GOOD.

back from atlanta.

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 00:56:16 GMT

iiiiiii'm not so sure about this week coming up. with the new schedule and all.
uh yea.
that's really it.
i mean it's not bad. i guess. i think. it's just bleh-ish kindof sometimes ithink. maybe.
i don't know what to think about it, k.
hahah.

i think we should have another break where i wake up to watch power rangers and tote my ipod around all the time. where we fancy up my aunt's house and watch some shitty thing on tv where they get shitty music artists to sing shitty music and light up a shitty tree. where rocky blasts his saetia album and everyone suddenly has stuff to go out and do. where i take baby cam to target and people ask if he's mine LOL.

so i went to the mall the day after thanksgiving. every year, we come home and i'm all, "I'M NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN" -fwomp- then the next year, i forget that i said that up until we pull into the parking lot o-o then i'm all -fwomp- yea so uhm. note to self: fucking crowded.

ah, the holiday season :) are you all excited?! i love the weather and watching people react to all the changes of the season and such, it's great. however, i always get a bit melancholy around this time of year. -shrug- i still love it though. this year i can't think of many material things i want for christmas! not a problem until your aunt is bugging you for a christmas list 24/7 xp

i need some of my trousers washed. night ♥

aimsnapfall.

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 01:54:39 GMT

i've been told twice this week that we walk alike.
hahahah ohmahshits.

so we're going to start having 4 separate lunches instead of two. where we sit with our 3rd block classes in the cafeteria. what the hell? UGH that woman is completely out of order. interior design with becca though. and chemistry. shut up. hahah. of course. how could that not happen? -headdesk-

..

so i'm going to atlanta over break.
10 hours in the car and many days with nothing to do but think and listen to music -shrug-
i hate and love thinking. at the same time. e-e annoying.

i made this handsome playlist.

today at lunch, steph strangled me. she also sang christmas songs :D

i need coffee.

see you guys in like. a weekish. type. thing. iyliylyilyilyiyliyliylyiyliylylyusodtisdlyi♥

ahh.

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 20:40:56 GMT

i'm so bored and this took me so long..
if anyone needs music recommendations, this is basically what i've been listening to..
[PLAYLISTS]
and as it says, some stuff that i haven't been listening to including some stuff on my playlists :p. like the shins, iron & wine, interpol, phantom, etc. etc. even though they're good.

yay, my music collection is all organised ^_^

i uploaded these for someone else, but i figured i'd share them with you guys too.
especially since someone (i don't remember who! o-o) really wanted emanuel. &someone else asked about death cab for cutie :o
so i really hope i did this right..

EMANUEL
- [SOUND TRACK TO A HEADRUSH]
DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE
- [TRANSATLANTICISM]

both zips of m4a's (itunes compatable)

woo enjoy :)

and now i am off to study &listen to soco ^_^

sup.

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 02:03:31 GMT

i'm here for a few minutes hahah.
i'll probably make a few updates sometimes.. but just assume that i'm still on hiatus until i say i'm not (..)
when i actually come back i'll be a great commenter, just you wait -nods-
my internet connection has been hooked up for a few hours because my dad felt bad that my mum was being a total bitch yesterday.

so has everyone heard that new cover that mcr did? because it's good. [mp3]
i miss listening to them like 24/7 hahah. likeseriously. it was always so much fun.
i love them to death but lately i just haven't been feeling as ..revengeful as i usually do. infact i've been listening to a lot of acoustic and light, fluffy and/or emotional stuff lol. i guess that's just what happens when you ..feel a certain way?

OHYEAthatremindsme, i got the chance to watch love, actually today ^_^
i always catch myself grinning like an idiot throughout the whole thing. i love that movie so much. i hate when it ends!

today i got this bright eyes album before it's supposed to come out. which is like the 22nd. because i'm just that super e-e lolduh :B. so anyway, it's like live tracks, nothing new i don't think. it's really good though.

i'm excited, becca's sending me "konstantine" as we speak :o
..or as i type, i mean..
i love that song.
i really must get more of something corporate and jack's mannequin's stuff.
i have galaxy sessions and everything in transit
i'd most definitely recommend both of them. GOSHLUCY. all your fault! ^_^

i'm dying for a place in your heart.

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 03:28:22 GMT

omg :x
is it possible for tracks to mess up from being played too much?!
i'm listening to "the longest story" right now and the quality sounds really.. different. and like crappy. LOL. omg.
LAME.

-------

so anyway.
uhm. i think this is going to be the start of my

HIATUS
from the internet.
(hahah i know.. i don't really have anything to say before leaving..)
i honestly have no idea how long i'll be offline.
probably a long time.
i will miss you guys terribly :(
really.
perhaps i'll briefly check up on the internet in a couple of weeks like for email etc., but please forgive me for not commenting and such. if things happen (or even for no reason!), feel free to comment me or email me or something and i'll try to respond at some point lol.
and uhm new lj's or myspaces or whatever too.. just add me and i'll add you back, k :)
i love you guys so much! ♥

i’m jealous of headlights, cause they’re all that clings to you

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 00:12:59 GMT

my cousin sent me a lot of good music today :o
but some of them are wma and i need them to be m4a or mp3 or whatever :/ -dies- anyone know what to do?
..yea, it was bugging me how short that entry was that i made earlier.
lol.
so here's a survey i stole from evel66 :3

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
e-e i have a lot.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
some pictures. posters. uhmm i need to redo my walls lol.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
don't have one.

4.WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
depends. hardcore. metal. alternative. recentlyy, a lot of light stuff like pretty and slow songs; acoustic :3 as well as a lot of as i lay dying o-o lmao.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
like 12:30 am.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
er hahah.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
eh. some friends. that's really it.. i don't miss my past very much.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
my rib cage. i don't know.

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
"woodsmoke" - most definitely going with that one aswell :)

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
no.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
hahah sometimes.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
i don't know. it was probably myself.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
"burberry brit and fantasy by britney spears" - agreed again! i also like curious.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
longish.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO?
"an airport" - AW, i like that.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
coffee :3

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
cheese.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW WHAT WOULD IT BE?
hahah yea i feel like ice cream too.

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
uhh.. mr.zu? lololol. really though, i don't know :p

20. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
i try aswell :p

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX)
e-e

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
that's not really something you can help now, is it?

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
oh man, stop. but i agree - "telling them. or you know, letting them know creatively."

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
7.

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
brunettes.

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
hahah i don't really call people.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
"know-it-alls" - agreed.

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE US?
many, many times.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
lack of self confidence. fear of rejection. peircing eyes and pretty smiles.

36. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
california.

37. FIRST JOB?
babysitter. hahah i know, god forbid.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
many x3

39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
sortof organising my playlists.

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
does a nose job count? but i won't get plastic surgery because it's awful.

41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
because i'm bored and surveys are fun.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
my art. my internet savvyness.

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
i don't think i'd really care.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i can't really think of anything.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
one.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
nope.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
sometimes. secretly.

48. WHICH FINGER IS YOUR FAVORITE?
e-e i don't know..

49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
last night when i was listening to "the longest story". heh.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
sometimes.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
i don't eat lunch meat.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
procrastinating o-o

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
i don't know. i have a fuckton of pop cds. ah okay.. how about hilary duff.

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
uhm. i don't know.. i tend to gravitate towards people who i think are like me.. so i guess..?

55. WHO ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS?
becca, lauren, cat, lucy, morgan :3

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
nope.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
music and art.

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
i don't know :p

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
yea. i basically do until you give me a reason not to anymore.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
a flashlight.

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
9,174.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
all the time.

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
hahah yea.

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
ugh. just everything that he is.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
christy. sonny.

68. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
i have to. they're converses lol. but like my adidas and flats, no.

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
ah, anything chocolatey :3

72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS?
red, aqua, and black.

73. do you like Heather Bierlair?
i don't know who that is..

74. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
hfaksdlf :p

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
whatever.

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
"older chests" - damien rice.

77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
eh don't remember.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE
ithink lucy.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
goes like this, kids: eyes > smile > face > hair. lol.

82. FAVORITE DRINK?
ah starbucks :3

84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
i don't play sports. ..lmfalfmaofmalmfaoULTIMATEFRISBEE-dies-

85. HAIR COLOR?
dark brown with faded highlights which are now like orange/blondish e-e

86. EYE COLOR?
brown.

87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
if i have to.

88. SIBLINGS?
1 half sister.

89. FAVORITE MONTH?
october.

90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
no.

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
the life aquatic like this morning :3

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
i don't know.

93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
yeaaaaaaaa e-e

94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
winterwinterwintererkaj;sd

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
idk. right now i'll say hugs.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
relationships.

97. WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
really bored kids.

98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
really busy kids.

99. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
the blood countess.

100. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
keep listening to music. lurk around lj. lurk around myspace. figure out what i'm going to wear tomarrow. some random shit. run out of reasons to not do my homework. do my homework. fall asleep to "the longest story". again.

and i can't wait until tomorrow, you get more beautiful everyday.

and isn't this exactly where you'd like me?

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 16:07:36 GMT

new lj layout - hospitalbeds
new myspace layout - hearseandhis

eh i'm not so sure about today being sunday.
groos.

yesterday i watched pirates of the caribbean ^_^

i really need to like. clean out my computer. but i'd rather go watch a movie or something.

i can't wait for this.

come winter

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 02:43:17 GMT

.
uhm. i guess i went to the mountains? e-e

probably not finnishing because it's smearing.
&i am going on a long hiatus thingie soon :(
but i'll probably make a few more posts before then.
during my hiatus i'll be working on a new set of shit i'll call plans.

how's that for paraphrasing? e-e
hahah this morning, i woke up and frankie was dead :o
because i fell asleep to "the longest story" on repeat xp
does anyone have any pretty or sweet or slow songs?

ps. i don't know if their myspace is being all weird with just my computer. but when it gets back (?), you should check out the fleet foxes (formally known as the pineapples). :)

time to dance.

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 04:48:31 GMT

another starfucks night :)

these two nights have seriously made my life, i love you guys so much ♥

woah@oldpictures.

i like how i used to pretend i was cool.
then i realised i wasn't lol.
and i went.

from

to

(hahahah)

i like how i finally started being myself instead.
it's good.

i could listen to "the longest story" by daphne loves derby forever.
hahah yes lauren and becca, it's another one of those songs.

just like the ocean needs the waves.

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 03:26:07 GMT

i ♥ chemistry..
my initials.
are cnm.
cn.
is cyanide.
ogmomgomgomgodgmomg.
i can totally remember that one.
and now you can too!

so.
i like how i kindof know what i'm doing now.

..
god, jamison.
god, parker.
how can you guys do this to me?!
i can't believe it's over.
jamisonparker is broken up.
i need to get their cd..

dance to this beat

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 01:25:04 GMT

i'm back. it was okay. boring but okay.
it was my cousin's birthday and i also got to see cam and rocky and my aunt too, duh.
we went to the mall. and i slept a lot.

i made that thingie on my way back. eh, it looks better in person. there's like 3 different fabrics and there's pockets lol.
it was fun rediscovering death cab for cutie and mae today :)

i didn't really comment, but i just read your guys' entries ♥

it's getting to be about 8:30 now so i must go cut my hair and then eat.

holypoop.

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 19:43:45 GMT

hahahahah.
look closer.
someone had way too much fun with that.

my cousin sent me panic! at the disco today.
it's surprisingly very good.
it makes me very happy.

by the way, as i lay dying's shadows are security is rly good so far, i've just finnished uploading it.

today i cleaned, packed, and went out to get sas as well as colour pencils and a new sketchbook.

and now i must update frankie and get ready to leave :p
see you guys in a few days :)
♥

SEW TIRED.

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 23:36:22 GMT

:steals becca's party pictures for a minute:

i'll upload mine later, but i don't have time right now.

BECAUSE I'M THE MOST CREATIVE KID EVER.
i made my helena dress. literally last minute.

(minus that orange peice of paper in my chest area e-e steph put that there lol.)
oh and steph being sailor moon because she's a whore :D

DID THEY EVER TELL YOU.

THAT HELENA'S A GANGSTUH. WITH MO LIKE TOTALLY.

lol they want me to wear my dress tomarrow :snort:
on a b day? and when it's freezing ass cold outside?
IDK.
i'm kindof afraid of it getting killed too. because i had to rush to get it done sewing by hand. maybe i can touch it up tonight? depends.

i got an as i lay dying shirt today and i love it to bits.

EVERYONE COME TRICK-OR-TREATING AT MY HOUSE.
it'll be fucking cool if you like phantom, i promise.

idk what we're doing tomarrow if we're even making plans.
gosh i need to finnish my reading log :(

oh super.

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 20:59:49 GMT

GOSHH :/
ugh i'm so stoopid.
well.. we have an exam next class.
idk?

..

today steph fell into a sink :D

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY BOAT

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 20:07:05 GMT

the life aquatic is super :)

i'm going to run. every day.
starting in a few hours.

i've come up with a few things for my list of things to talk about. it's neat. i need to write them down before i forget.

guhh. i want to have super long talks with my friends like all the time. because it's great. friday was amazing.